Names

I have ideas for you, blog. Because I have them all the time, J is used to them. In fact, he thinks that the only blog I have a chance of keeping is a blog of blog ideas.

Of course, as always with new online projects, what I want first is a new theme and a new domain name. My plans for pimpin’ my new blogs always precede plans for executions. Perhaps this explains why this site has had more skin changes than posts.

Now, in the same conversation where they go on at length about new revenue models and guerrilla tactics, marketing types mention that for an artist, a web presence should build name recognition. We all know of course that what I have is not a web presence but a web absence. What this blog here should be called is Waiting for Kolendo.

The point is that I’m coming around to the idea that my name, my real, phone-book-findable name, should have a starring role in my web adventures (or lack thereof) since I think–now that I finally no longer get carded when buying tickets to R-rated movies–I’m finally safe from being stalked by another pedophile.*

Which I suppose poses the question of which name to use. At my mother’s, I’m still Nastia Kolendo but no one else I know can pronounce it. Anastasia Kolendo is on diplomas and IDs, though I prevent so many mispronunciations nowadays by introducing myself as Ana that I should get a Crimestoppers Badge of Merit. And Anastasia is such a feminine name. I feel like people who have just the name to go on expect 5 o’clock tea involving cozies and forest creatures who come braid my hair.

When it comes to names, A. S. Byatt sometimes seems to have the right idea (especially in light of this). And if I were to write, publish, and blog as A. S. Kolendo,** my initials would be way cooler. Of course, askolendo.com seems…err…cold? A little closer to my personality, I concur, but still.

So this is what I think a lot about nowadays. Kolendo.com, kolendo.net, and kolendo.org are all taken. Though go-daddy of course suggested brilliant alternatives–I think mysexykolendo.com was one of them.

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* For those of you who haven’t heard the story, don’t worry. He was a shy pedophile. After finding my address in the white pages, he dropped by unannounced to ask me “to go steady.” I got off easy, with no attempts at inappropriate touching, though my parents will forever assume his behavior to be typical of American men.

** What? You thought my middle name was something different? You underestimated the attractions of changing Eduardovna to Stober. Which, given I then get to sign things as ASK, I may still do.